Writing Brain Training

Five Things You Wish Your Parents Had Never Told You

1. ''Were starting to do Slimming World''. This actually really scared me when I first heard this, because I'm a very fussy eater. The fact that Slimming World uses all kinds of weird ingredients in their food, regardless of how good it actually is, is a very offsetting prospect for me. Things like aubergine, courgette and even mushrooms, which I have a long standing hatred towards, are all things which are either strange, unusual or just plain taste horrible. The texture of theses weird foods and the way they make the plate look wrong is all wrong to me. Now, I'm not gonna knock Slimming World, because it does work, but maybe they could come up with a few newer, nicer recipes for my parents to try, maybe?


2. ''Were moving to Canada''. Now this might not sound like a bad thing to begin with, and it isn't. I would love to live in Canada, it’s a great place, but I think that the only reason they said it is because it was in the wake of just having been there on holiday. We went to Canada to see what it was like, just for a bit of a holiday trip, and really enjoyed it. The problem from moving there comes from the fact that, not only is it a French speaking country some of the time, it would also mean that I would have to make new friends, find new things to do and even change the way I think. Now we never actually moved to Canada, as you can guess, but the threat of a massive life change was very big at the time.


3. ‘’Were going on holiday to America’’. Without me. That’s the important part of this statement, they didn’t take me. They went on this nice, big fortnight long trip to the great US of A and didn’t bother take bring me. Now some people would relish this opportunity to have a free house for a full week, but not me. Mainly because I don’t have any real reason to need a free house. I don’t hold parties or have loads of friends to bring round, so I ended up just being sat on my own most of the time. I would much rather they didn’t tell me where they were going and just disappear for a week. That would have been better than knowing where they were and not being able to go with. But oh well.


4. ‘’Were getting two cats’’. Now again, this might not sound like a massive deal, I for really like cats and so do many other people, but, as it turns out, I am also mildly allergic to cat hair and stuff. So it wasn’t all that great an investment. Now I love both cats right now, they’re great, they can be annoying, but so can I. Maybe that’s why we get on so well, who knows. We have had these cats for a number of years now and the allergies have proven to be very minor, but at this time of year when the cold is about, it only serves to heighten the effect that the cats have on me. It’s not very nice.


5. ‘’Get a job’’. Now again, this isn’t an inherently wrong thing to say, but it was more in what was meant by it that bothered me. This is something that I will stick by to the day I die, and that’s that you should never settle for mediocrity, middle-class average. Why aim low? And this is what they meant, and still mean, when they tell me to get a job. Live the life we do. Get a job. Get a car. Get married, live in an alright house, have kids. Grow old, retire, die. That’s the life they will live and that’s the life they want me to live. Because they think it’s what’s ‘’good’’ for me. It’s what’s best. It is a steady, slow, ultimately boring, life to lead. When they say they want me to get a job they say it because it will get me a nice steady income, somewhere to go if things go wrong, a backup plan, but that’s only if you think things might go wrong. And that’s not the kind of attitude I have.